Confessions from an Ex Fat Boy

My Journey - Reliving it : Week 1

Posted On 10:09 PM by Keeven |

I’m not gonna... eat that pasta. I’m not... gonna eat it. I’m... not gonna eat... Not this time. I chew on these words, force them through my head. Where people have delicious meals, I have plain, dull meals. I'm always at home, eating another meal alone, with constantly repeat of the word CONTROL and a plate of chicken & brown rice. Not forgetting is another jug of water. This is only my second week and I’m sick of it already.

Chew slowly follow by water. Chew and water. And I keep repeating that. This is my method. This is my form of control. This is the system. Listen, the toughest part isn’t the workout. Yes, cardio or lifting can be tough, but it is nothing compare to eating. It’s the diet. The way of eating. Diet is what differentiates success and failure.

I'm hungry again... Why does this always happen? The feeling of starvation and the loud roar in my stomach is killing me. I envy others who get to eat whatever their heart desires without putting on additional pounds. The food I'm having now is always dry and tastes like shit, but at least there is still something in there. Some days, I'm so hungry that I force myself to sit and stare. I break out in a cold sweat. I have to will myself to stop. Yeah, living like this is real agony.

People in the other world, they don’t understand. They can’t. They eat instinctively. For me, eating is another part of my life that must be controlled. I’ve had to learn how to eat, overcome my appetite. It sounds fucked up, but that’s what I gotta do to prepare for this. It sucks and I’ve still got miles to go.
26 Response to 'My Journey - Reliving it : Week 1'
  1. Annie, The Amazing Shrinking Girl
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1254785762533#c2142737404260036303'> October 6, 2009 at 7:36 AM

    I totally agree about the diet part being the hardest but remember that food is fuel for your body. You shouldn't be starving and you definitely shouldn't be breaking out in cold sweats!

    Now I know you've been doing this longer than me but please remember that food really isn't the enemy. The types of food is.

    How many calories are you getting in a day?

     

  2. Kai
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1255117473390#c8743104410713476169'> October 10, 2009 at 3:44 AM

    This is true! My friends are always saying "eww... wtf are you eating?!?!"

    I don't have any bodybuilding friends or anyone who actually cares about eating healthy food in general.

    Your transformation definitely inspires me Keeven!

     

  3. Keeven
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1255233386765#c6035330669327298343'> October 11, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    Hi everyone.
    You are totally right Annie, we should not be starving ourselves. But I believe my temptations for more food might be due to the disatisfaction of the taste of my meals. Like I say I can't eat like many others. But I also discover ways to fulfill this void. It will be disclose in the weeks to come. And I agree with Kai that there are not many others out there who actually understand us. The moment we decide to walk down this road, our diet will never be the same again. Thanks for all your kind words.

    Ex Fat Boy

     

  4. Anonymous
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1256352467305#c520894279940449710'> October 24, 2009 at 10:47 AM

    I can relate so much to this! People just don't understand how hard it is to control your eating. It's like any other addiction. But you look great! You have accomplished so much, congrats to you!I just found your blog and it's wonderful! so inspirational!

     

  5. Anonymous
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1258586568381#c2941052310335374431'> November 19, 2009 at 7:22 AM

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  6. Anonymous
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1265045852952#c1214642564237968948'> February 2, 2010 at 1:37 AM

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  7. Fitness Exercise
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1269923510196#c5860108840542082869'> March 30, 2010 at 12:31 PM

    Oh! There is some of the people who can control of food. Fitness exercise are needs for weight loss and stay healthy.

     

  8. Anonymous
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1273577112026#c8474496875455636796'> May 11, 2010 at 7:25 PM

    Splendidly done is richer reconsider than spectacularly said.

     

  9. Anonymous
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1273603621880#c96482351065870020'> May 12, 2010 at 2:47 AM

    Well done is sick than extravagantly said.

     

  10. Anonymous
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1273617612993#c4507098024544154885'> May 12, 2010 at 6:40 AM

    Splendidly done is richer reconsider than well said.

     

  11. Anonymous
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1273632114728#c2700075639199873671'> May 12, 2010 at 10:41 AM

    Lovingly done is sick than spectacularly said.

     

  12. Anonymous
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1273647050057#c8566621797461146515'> May 12, 2010 at 2:50 PM

    Artistically done is sick than spectacularly said.

     

  13. Anonymous
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1273996352949#c7435842304369422228'> May 16, 2010 at 3:52 PM

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  15. Anonymous
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1278323567180#c616157778422910056'> July 5, 2010 at 5:52 PM

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  16. Anonymous
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1289425664586#c4045930220760034539'> November 11, 2010 at 5:47 AM

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    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1359439135328#c1065422630963348994'> January 29, 2013 at 1:58 PM

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    If you buy pre-owned games, make certain to purchase a quality disc cleaner. It is almost impossible to tell ahead of time what condition used games will be in. Even though you may have let the discs get very dirty, the cleaning kit can help to get them working again. Research all the options that are available, though. There are a lot of cleaning kits out there.

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  21. Anonymous
    http://keevenlim.blogspot.com/2009/10/week-1.html?showComment=1359469683290#c5049858314414257589'> January 29, 2013 at 10:28 PM

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    Game store employees are a great resource when it comes to learning about new games. A lot of people like different kinds of video gaming, you should look to branch out. The employee should be able to give you a few ideas of what games to buy.

    Before allowing your child to use a gaming xbox online, be sure that you have set it to "family friendly" options. This will filter out inappropriate content so your child will not be exposed to it. You can also determine how much they can chat with others while online.

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    All games have ratings thanks to the ESRB. Games are appropriate for ages 3 and older if they receive an EC or Early Childhood rating. If your children are six and older, a rating of E is appropriate. A rating of E+10 is for people older than 10 years old. If your game is rated T, it is suggested that you be 13 or older to play it. "M" (mature) rated games are for people who are at least 17 years old. AO indicates the game is just for adults and RP signifies "Rating Pending."

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    You already know how much fun you can have playing video games. People from all over the world get great joy from online gaming. Now that you have had a chance to look through these ideas, you probably feel that you know a lot more about gaming. Good luck to you!

     

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